Campaign of the Month: May 2014

Ladies in Hades and the Dyval Wears Prada

The Steve and The Scotch

The Hungry Scholar was seemingly empty from the outside. Exiting a taxi, Pall Mall noticed that there are several female types hanging out smoking cigarettes and socializing.

‘Well now – this should’nt be so bad – a bunch of girls hanging out…’ He thought as he entered the establishment.

“House darts and a pitcher of your finest dark beer if please barkeep.”

Beer and darts

The three eyed demon almost fit in if it weren’t for the mostly human crowd that night. He felt secure though. Lazlo was a place of relative acceptance and guessing that the war on Tolkeen had sent many refugees here, Pall Mall felt comfortable enough to not have to use his Ring of Human Kind. And besides, he was supposed to meet his group members here and how would they recognize him otherwise.

Velvet trio 300Taking in the scene and prepping his throwing arm, the Sowki prepared for a night of gambling on the dart board and was excited at the prospect of talking shit and taking his friends money – if only a few dollars at a time. Just then he noticed that most of the patrons of tonight’s crowd all had name tags and seemed to be ALL women. Again he looked carefully and noticed a strange grinding of hips happening between several females that he was certain could lead to some serious scissor action. He then realized – it was lesbian night at the Hungry Scholar.

7fe33 scissor

Just as he was finishing his first pint and getting a bulls eye ( 18, 4, 7) he heard a newly familiar voice call out.

“Errmmmm…Pall Mall?”

The Sowki turned to find a human male standing there and looking like he was very out of place and yet somewhat comfortable with the environment.

“ermm..yes? can I help you?”

“Its Me! Steve of the House of Gary!!”

“Oh damn dude! I guess ive never seen you outside of your armor!!”

Touching his Dragon Eye Gem, the Sowki poured a pint for the fellow and the two began to catch up.

Addressing the human, Pall Mall raises his glass and, with a clinck toasts the newcomer.
“So I guess were supposed to meet here eh? What the hell have you been up to? I havnt seen any mystic emails from you in our RP threads.”

With a wierd look as if he had no idea about what Pall was talking about, Steve addresses his new pal.
“Well you know… I had some business to attend to. I haven’t written a back story yet so Ive been basically shacking up with this blonde chick that occasionally brings home other chicks for me to fuck!” Throwing the metal sign, Steve takes a big swig from his pint.

“Well I guess you cant say that there arent any chicks in the bars in Lazlo!”

“Totally – what is this – dyke night??”Malme

“I dont know man…im actually interested to see if any of them want to come work for me! HAHAHAHAHA!” the Sowki’s toothed maw spills a good half mouth full of brew as he finishes his last gulp.

As the night wares on the two share a few more pitchers and Steve informs the Sowki of the back story he has yet to wright. Just as he is telling Pall about his girlfriends ex boyfriend who used to call her and talk lots of shit, said ex boyfriend walks through the door and begins to play pool nearby.

“Pall – I cant believe it – thats him! The douche bag! I just want so badly to whoop him right here!”

“Listen Steve – the last thing we want to do is get into trouble here in Lazlo. Its one of the last untouched bastions of safety for any one who practices the mystic arts. Why don’t we get him to be intimidated by us and just buy us a few drinks instead.”

“Well it’s true – this guy is a real wuss. I’ve given him many an opportunity to make good on his shit talk but he never has acted. He’s just a lot of talk.”

After a bit, The Ex discovers that he is sharing the same bar as his arch nemesis who seems to be keeping some pretty buff company. Seeking to avoid an altercation he begins to make his way to the two to ease over any possible territorial disputes.

“Excuse me for a few minutes Pall -Im going to go talk to this punk.”
Steve of the House of Gary leaves to smoke a cigarette with The Ex and returns a few minutes later.

“Dude this kid is so diluted and is just swinging from my nut sack right now”

“Wait – wait – he’s coming over here…”

The Ex was a normal looking almost adolescent human in that goofy stage where the body is adult but clearly the factory running the shift was like – 1st level max. A few poc marked scars on his face indicated his recent maturation from adolescence to adulthood. Pall Mall took note of the human time line of maturing and watched as the the two males from the species interacted.

“Hey, like – ya know man…I’m really sorry about all that shit talk I was unable to act on like a true grown up would have…can I buy you a drink Steve?”

“Well…I guess it wouldn’t…”

Pall, interrupting Steve, dosnt even have to use any mystic arts to get what he wants from this fool.

“Yes He would…He needs a shot I need a shot and so do you! – Johnny Black”

The pimples on this young humans face almost boiled open.
“Oh …Umm…Johnny Black?? whats that?”

“Johnny Walker Black sonny – its Scotch, a mans drink. The farthes thing from Schnapps you can get!”

“Oh umm…right…” The boy left them and the duo could see him scratching his head and trying to relay the sophisticated order to the bartender.

“Do you think he’ll just run out and not get us drinks? I cant believe you are so persuasive with him right now! I love it!” Steve of the house of Gary was beaming from ear to ear, wide eyed with anticipation.

“No, no…he wont run. He’s trying to show us he’s not a wuss…see he’s on his way back with our Man Drink.”

“Here ya go fellas…” ( The boys voice cracking like a typical fast food operator )“I hope these are the right ones.” The young human took the shot and made a face like his entire insides were on fire. Steve and Pall took theirs, making it look oh so easy – as if taking a swig of water after a long marathon.


“Now then young thing…Leave us be. We have much to discuss” Pall Mall Shoo’d the boy and turned his back to him, throwing another dart but missing his mark. (7)

“I hope I dont see you any time soon.” Steve swigging his beer, turning and doing the same as Pall.

The Ex turned for the door, blushing from the embarrassment of realizing his place in the megeverse. As he left, Trent and Jescha walk in.


Dyke night in Lazlo!?!?

The Steve and The Scotch

Apparently Pall Mall has that effect on women…

The Steve and The Scotch

I'm sorry, but we no longer support this web browser. Please upgrade your browser or install Chrome or Firefox to enjoy the full functionality of this site.