Wow! What an…odd session. I think the highlight here was tossin’ the frisbee around and watching Chris get redder ’n a lobster covered fire-engine! The beach was beautiful, the sun was shining, and the beer was flowing. Isaac had to head out at 1730 but he stayed long enough to enjoy a little run-in with some Xiticix and druids and a Millenium Tree and its druids. Dave ended up arriving around 2130 and everyone stayed until about 0200 so it was a pretty crazy day.

The way I remember it: We had last left the party with Pall Mall, Trent, and Chris at Stonehenge courtesy of Trent’s Dimensional Portal. You had just finished helping the resident Millenium Druids with their stadium-sized monster problem and the gargantuan creature was forced back into a mega-rift. We fudged the details on why / how everyone transitioned from their various and sundry sidebar adventures to appear magically in England at Stonehenge but because we’ve had a few ill-timed absences we’re just going with, “Trent gathered the party before venturing forth.”

So it was without surprise that Trent disappeared with a few short words just outside the nexus at Stonehenge and McGreggor appeared at nearly the same time wearing a living, breathing supernatural evil suit of power armor and looking…well, even MORE badass than usual. Haha! Hell yeah! Open the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the DINOSAUR!

So Pall Mall, James, and McGreggor used this opportunity to break bread with the druids, to talk to their leader Wadsworth Thoreaugood Marshall Longfellow — a Millenium druid thick and thin who oddly began his preamble with a distinctly Australian accent. ahem Pall Mall seized the opportunity to attempt kleptomaniacal larcenic activity…and was CAUGHT RED-HANDED! Pity his “palming” skill is so low. The druids were all very wary of McGreggor but when they made camp and he extricated himself from the bowels of a foul and malevolent demonic interlocking of plates and machinery…they distanced themselves even further. I’m not sure the dino noticed but I’m pretty sure that even if he did he wouldn’t care. Wadsworth shared with the group that the druids had experienced the insanities associated with using magic but more of their number were felled in guarding Stonehenge and serving the “mother” Millenium tree than had been claimed by lunacy. The druidic miracles and magic are not arcane in nature and they are usually gifts / miracles bestowed by the tree itself.

Pall Mall, shifty-eyed and shady as ever, gleaned little in the way of helpful information but agreed to travel to the Tree for guidance. Wadsworth led the party on a little expedition the next morning and the group was treated to their first encounter with one of the older and more powerful Trees on Rifts Earth. As you approached she reached out with her minds to touch those of you who could enter within her 100ft diameter of Circle of Protection: Evil. This unfortunately left McGreggor wandering about an invisible circumference testing the mystical properties of an invisible boundary that he couldn’t, for the life of him, comprehend. The Tree introduced herself as Gaia, All-Mother, Tutelage of Alpha Centauri and Spiritual Guide to the Celestial Cosmos. A heightened sense of self-importance is part and parcel of the Millenium Tree conglomeration of psyches. Regardless, Gaia told you guys that she is aware of the corruption of potential psychic energy and that it has even begun to decrepify and blight some of her brothers and sisters.

Alas, when she penetrated Pall Mall’s mind telepathically he failed his roll for the psychic save against a personality swap and out came Helldamn Spellshroud! His alignment quickly reversed to EVIL and he was expelled from the circle. James, the only good creature in contact with the Tree was given a gift of a mini-branch that he later learned was a wand of divination. Gaia wished you all well saw you off.

When you returned to the druid camp this time your friends were fighting group of 26 Xiticix! The druids were outnumbered though not outmatched and the party fled like pussies. Regardless, you decided after your encounter to head to KAMELOT!?!? and pay a visit to the magic guild in England. Bummer that the insane Mrrhlynn has practically taken over everything and disbanded the Kamelot-branch of the magic guild. They are still allowed to operate in a minimal capacity but they are NOT allowed to offer their full-range of services — even to members. They, like all other business here in Kamelot, must pay a tax to the crown to even operate. You met a personable, jewish gnomish woman named Polenta, cousin of Yenta and younger sister of Olga. When pressed about the PPE plague and any clues she had she referred the group to an archival file of the oldest known / reported case that was locked in a micro-fische on a guild computer — antiquated as nothing here in the Kamelot branch has been able to be upgraded or updated or changed.

After a few unskilled checks you were able to open up a file about a mage named Brent Goren from nearly 400 years ago who lived in a place called Long Island…fifty miles from present-day Madhaven. He was a regular upstanding member of the guild who wandered off one day and didn’t return until years later when he was stark-raving mad. He rambled on and on about a madness that had taken him and repeatedly mentioned a period of earth’s history called world war II.

The occurrence was strange enough to document and record it but nothing relevant has been gleaned or any parallels drawn. The group thanked Polenta for her help and support and traveled back to the super-nexus at Stonehenge where they met a swarm of 10 Xiticix. Uh oh! The odds much closer to unfair the group decided to jump in and eradicate the bugs…STARSHIP TROOPER STYLE!?!? At some point, during this engagement, James let a nearly priceless gift from Trent get so damaged that it, unfortunately, is near complete destruction. Frankly, I’m surprised it’s even still functioning.

We were a little indecisive and Pall Mall took the opportunity to summon a shadow beast and bid it enter the “hidden” rift. The monster did and was lucky enough to shrink right into the smallest shadow to do some reconnaissance. It wore a video-camera / recording device that James offered and was able to capture some up-close footage of this machine. It looked like 1940’s science-fiction replete with Hell Boy Nazi German markings, swastikas, tesla coils, and lots of gems and arcing electricity. Pall Mall’s lack of electronics, mechanics, and EVERY OTHER skill roll prevented him from finding (how did he put it?) the “plug” so the machine couldn’t just be switched off. The Shadow Beast then attempted to climb the machine to get a better look at this house-sized contraption but it made some noise and failed its prowl roll after succeeding at a climb roll. An ice wraith came to check on the commotion after being booted squarely in the tookas by a bigger, badder, bossier superior deevil. The shadow beast, however, managed to slip back into the one little shadow it found. While it waited for the moment to pass the monster panned the camera around at his master’s behest and the group was treated to a sight of red sands, rocky precipices, desert, and the landscape of Mars.

Once again, when the coast was clear, Pall Mall sent the beast to the top of the machine and bade it start clawing and cleaving and destroying the rift generator. With one claw swipe in broad daylight the Shadow Beast’s mere 2d6 MD did astonishing amounts of damage to the machine. The group jumped to the conclusion that it was an SDC material. The claw strikes didn’t do enough damage to ruin the machine but it got the apex array (a massive cluster of rubies, diamonds, and star sapphires that was spinning conspicuously fast) to wobble off-kilter. The noise attracted another deevil, this time an imp flew up to the top to investigate instead of the ice wraith and it immediately sounded the alarm. The Shadow Beast was able to get off another claw strike before he was encased in a solid block of ice and surrounded by deevils. At that point the video froze (literally) and stopped transmitting. The beast was thawed / clawed free and then held down — and in a battle of STRENGTH — Dan, with a nat 20 was able to wrest the shadow best free of a grip or three for long enough to get one big kick on the apex array. Well that was all it needed to spin from off-balance to PELL MELL and the ensuing explosion annihilated the shadow beast and severely damaged all of the surrounding deevils.

One down!

After this Pall Mall insisted that they travel to Atlantis to continue the search for more gigantic super-nexuses that have static or semi-static rifts. Unfortunately it took a few hours of hemming and hawing before Dave knocked on my door and arrived at 2130. H u z z a h ! ! And then there were three! Helldamn Spellshroud Rift Teleported the group to a random nexus in France and the group farted around for a while until Rathos the Rumbler wandered out of a Rift with 40 of his buccaneer pirate friends! Helldamn attempted to parley with the slightly-stupid Rathos and cast carpet of adhesion on James and then offered the godling to Rathos as a friendly exchange of gifts. Rathos claimed all of earth as HIS and slammed his mace into the ground before accepting the godling and grabbing him up in his arms…which only made him completely stuck to James. The group noticed a small tendril of vine or creeper grow out of the mace and into the ground before Rathos became very angry with Trent’s bombastic badgering. Trent continued to give the gullible Rathos the impression that he should tough, smell, hear, and even taste the invisible sticky powder until the giant alien was completely adhered to the godling — EVEN HIS TONGUE!

Rathos called for a Psyker and 3 men holding the supine form of a green goblin rushed forward from the back and stood their ground as if carrying a water-heavy fire-hose. In moments the goblin psycher released the most potent blast of psychik energy that earth has ever felt…


James hypnotically suggested that Pall Mall NOT gift him over to the aliens and Helldamn Spellshroud receded back into the dark recesses of the Sowki mind. After that the group rift teleported in haste once again and this time they ended up in AFRICA! And that’s where Pall Mall and James had a lover’s spat and fought like children. You guys encountered some Scorpion Men. Trent had no inclination to stick around the giant continent of Africa and was able to dimensionally portal the group back to Lazlo where the group could pay for the taxi services (they hoped) from the guild.

Yenta welcome you back with open arms and expressed concern that the plague had gotten out of control…or so she thought. She was unable to discount the price of the teleporting services due to the high risk her resident shifters were taking in even performing the service.

And that’s where we decided to call it. Yenta gave you a run-down of all the super-nexuses the guild had access to and the nearest guild-locations to those nexuses. That list will appear in your email at some point this week. For my part in it I apologize that folks felt like they were floundering a lot this session. We really didn’t discover anything new or even make any progress over the last session. That can certainly make people frustrated. I hoping that next session might be a little more productive. what I tried to do, especially when you guys asked the GM for some help and direction, was impel you along the paths…but it seemed like that didn’t work. What I also stressed was that there’s no wrong way to eat a Reese’s and there’s many different ways to skin a cat. Just because I haven’t thought of it in advance doesn’t mean it isn’t gonna work. When you come up with creative ideas that are clever and useful I totally run with them — at least I hope you guys have seen that.


Ladies in Hades and the Dyval Wears Prada Witchcraft