Wow! What an incredible evening! Due to some unforeseen circumstances we had to relocate the session at the last minute to Isaac’s domicile and he was gracious enough to host us on a DRY evening. That’s right folks! No alcohol! Holy shit! How did we make it ten hours without incident? I think I was a solid hour and change late. I left Milford from my therapist appointment at 1245 and I think I got to Hamden at around 1400. That’s fuckin’ impressive! Thank you DOCTOR GRADUATION!?!?

We went with a paltry 3/5 players which was just enough to bridge the gap and get into some trouble. The party started in Lazlo with a brief encounter for James with Jaena Slayne, the Techno-Wizard guru. She offered James the standard rate of 10,000 UTC per MDC point with a lead time of 4 weeks. She could rush it in 8 days for a mere 15,000 UTC per MDC and she couldn’t promise that she’d be able to restore the damaged armor to its previous maximum capacity. She was impressed by the craftsmanship and the high level spells that had been embedded into the armor and she wasn’t confident that she could replace all the damaged crystals without needed to re-cast some of those spells — potentially ones that she didn’t know or didn’t have access to. Regardless, James, upon hearing the going rate, returned to Trent and asked for a loaner…come kind of collateral that could help him get the armor repaired without bartering for sexual favors. James turned down Jaena’s offer of sexual favors and also refused the courier position to get Trent into the good graces of a Techno-Wizard Business Partner. Doctor Logan patently refused. He was not going to be deterred from his previous stance — Temporal Wizardry was not a secret to be shared casually, made accessible to non-temporal wizards, and mass-produced. Trent was still a man of integrity…if also insanity. But he generously donated a TW Hellfire modified shotgun to the pauper’s cause. Jaena accepted the shotgun for 100k and also took a Coalition journal off Trent’s hands and James got away with realizing he had two million credits from having liquidated his precious metals previously; good thing the GM didn’t remember the transaction!

Perhaps it’s a good thing James didn’t remember how many credits he REALLY had when it came time to fight Phobes. wink So it’ll take four weeks for the armor to be repaired and the group picked up Bex, procured a hover-sedan on Trent’s ID and dime (opting out of the high-premium insurance) and allowed a 100k security deposit to be temporarily deducted from Trent’s account (to be returned upon the safe arrival of the vehicle for the nominal sum of 5,000 credits per day). A mere 1/10th of Bex’s hazard pay. wink Trent finished his research in the Magic guild after a run-in with the mad Korbin Slayne and encountered a blue-cloaked, gas-mask wearing being of magic. None other than the wayward Zander. The young D-Shifter had just passed his initial inspection and interview with flying colors during a bong-session with Bat Mitzvah the hookah-smokin’ Jewish gnome. She was intrigued…curiosity piqued…and ultimately ended up getting on famously with the dimension-straddling hitchhiker. For the price of two White Rose Petals (previous acquired from the Madhaven adventure) — equivalent to 60k and the interrogative interview, Zander’s voluntary guild-time will arrive within 3 months and his honorary membership will go from trial…to FULL. H u z z a h !!! The hitchhiker arrived in the small archive to avail himself of some guild literature and resources and ended up speaking to a D’norr Devilman after a brief “American” faux pas. He caught the tail end of a Korbin Slayne tirade and stood in rapt attention of Trent Logan — a human CLEARLY not originating from this current dimension.

Boom! He got hired to accompany the group to Windsor. When Bex arrived the two instantly connected but it was odd for them not to have had any foreknowledge of the other’s involvement. The hover-sedan was mistakenly driven over a body of water on a beautiful morning with no random encounters…until we realized that there was no fucking need to cross lake Huron originating from Lazlo with a Windsor-destination. Zander stepped forward to do some recon and before long…about two thousand feet away everyone buffs up and Trent successfully mystic-portaled to the center of the FRACAS. Deevils, Demons, and even super-human spandex-wearers were seen duking it out in the fray. With the merc adv. combat magic “farseeing” he was able to use in conjunction with “see dim. anomalies” and espy the hidden RIFT WITHIN A MOTHERFUCKING RIFT that Brent has become famous for now. The jig’s up! The cat’s outta the bag! We’re on a roller-coaster ride of deception! You guys managed to prowl…like EVERYONE successfully made their prowl rolls…until Zander. But the interdimensional vagabond made up for it by MIMICing the mystic portal and using advanced math to determine the necessary trajectory to adjust for the factor of gravity in placing a mystic portal of his own that would get them INTO the hidden portal that was 40ft up in the air. Nothing short of awesome! The entrance to the portal was placed on the ground and the exit was placed above and out from the hidden Dyvalian rift so that when James led the plunge he was deposited squarely in mid-air…in DYVAL! His first action was to cast levitate since he appeared about 50ft up in the air in the new dimension but this immediately stopped his fall so that each subsequent party member slammed right into him and overloaded the weight limit on his levitate. Before Zander could even react…his heroics cost him a Horror Factor roll which failed and put him behind the group for an action. When he made it through to Dyval he was stunned to see the group being fired upon and James taking a blast of solid, inky blue-black energy solidly to the chest. The Deevils were waiting for…well, anything to come out of the rift and it shockingly happened to be a few humans! LOL!

After the shot heard round the rift generator a squad commander Beast backhanded his subordinate with a growl in demogogian (that only Trent could understand) to cease and desist. They were ordered NOT to fire even in the vicinity of the machine and especially the apex array — a giant mass of crystals and precious gems that rivaled the queen of england’s family jewels and was larger than isaac’s patio table. The victim tumbled ass over teakettle while the others advanced on the adventurers. They quickly began to fly up and engage the party in melee combat and an Ice Wraith encased James in Ice…akin to the flash freeze grenade and after a few discrepancies with the spell description and finding the appropriate but not so similar earth warlock spell…or whatever…James and Trent found themselves in suspended animation. Zander held up his hands and surrendered and Bex followed suit. The prisoners were taken to the side, shackled (those who weren’t encased in ice) and casually ignored while the squad went back to guarding the portal. When the duration of the spell was about to elapse the Beast sent over two chuckleheads to chip away at the icy prison and shackle the two other would-be slaves. HOWEVER, in an act of supreme heroism and semi-self-sacrifice but more self-preservation, James hypnotically suggested that the deevilkin chipping him out go and help the other deevil chip out Trent…first. The INSTANT Trent regained consciousness he invoked the talisman of time-slip which game him FOUR extra actions (the full span of 7.5 seconds or half a melee) — I believe he normally has 6 actions per melee but his first action when we entered Dyval was to activate MAR (mag adren rush) giving him an extra two…putting him up to eight, half of which was a gain of four. What was really interesting is how in 7 seconds, 4 of Trent’s actions, only 2 of everyone else’s actions were spent. Kevin Siembieda clearly failed his Math: Basic roll. Regardless, Trent used this time to whip out the CODEX OF SCROLLS and draw a circle of protection: superior! H u z z a h 1! ! After hemming and hawing over how to best position the circle he finally decided to surround the ice-block James and himself. When time resumed all the lesser deevils were sent scurrying away — forced to be out of LINE OF SIGHT of the thing. The two greater deevils (Horror and Beast) stood annoyed and transfixed once their minions were seen fleeing in terror — but they remained at bay for 20ft. A carpet of adhesion was cast on Trent and a TW net gun was fired with a nat fuckin’ twenty from BRENT! Trent very quickly found himself helpless but all was NOT lost. James began to FLEX-FREE himself from the FREEZE and Zander and Bex used the distraction to SHILLY closer to the machine so the psi-operator could telemechanically possess the archaic technology. Chameleon was still active and Zander proved versatile in his elbow-raised cloak-curtain — like changing swim trunks at the beach — and Bex was able to get her meditative trance off. A timely Call Lightning disintegrated the earth beneath the circle and broken the continuity so the magic failed. The deevils are not to be trifled with. A magic pigeon flew off in a heartbeat…to Habblar knows where…

Once James’s hand was free he could begin chopping himself with the rune weapon, Apple, and he was free in no time. Trent bade him pickup the book, flip to page 32, and read the scroll — TIME STOP on the Horror! Oh shit! No more netgun. With Trent out of commission and James almost free it seemed like all would be lost with another net gun attack but what should come flying out of the rift? A BAALROG!!!! Obviously the deevils lost the fight on the other side. With the circle of protection superior no longer in effect and demons pouring through the rift — a hidden rift that they were only able to sense and locate after Trent pinpointed it and Zander made passage possible — the demons PRESSED THEIR ASSAULT…and began to die.

James then took the codex and ran to Zander to chop at his manacles — SLASH! Manacles gone! James missed the leg shackles and dug his blade handily into the side of a Zander birkenstock boot. The Baalrog landed nearly atop the apex arrary before but with another pivotal blast from the inky, black energy the giant demon was felled and crashed into the centrifuge of a spinning crystal at 60Hz. The machine began to make a crazy whining sound and gave everyone the impression it was gonna BLOW soon just like STONEHENGE!!! With direction from Trent James then cast the Time Warp: Slow spell on the area to buy the group more time — but he dropped the codex of scrolls so Zander could avail himself of the magic.

to take better aim and destroying the chaos rift generator. The deevils shot another nat twenty to the already injured baalrog from the soul-slinger rifle brought it crashing down atop the chaos generator. More demons began to pour through but they were being dispatched by the deevils handily…Bex, snapped out of her trance with some much-needed reconnaissance and James picked up the magic net carpet of adhesion package that was Trent and carried him to the two shackled by the machine. At this point we thought all might have been lost when Zander tried to read a scroll from the CODEX OF SCROLLS but was unable to read dragonese!!! All of a sudden the earth rumbled with the heave of a giant being “landing” and Trent heard in demogogian, "what is this? I have been disturbed during T-Time for ‘humans’? HEADS WILL ROLL!! The deevil lord began making his way around the machine to where the party was and in the next instant Zander saved the group. Instead of trying to read the scroll himself he rolled a basic math roll to count, UNDER DURESS IN COMBAT, to the correct page number and pull out the right scroll for Trent to read, held the scroll up to Trent’s eyes who was able to read it from INSIDE THE MAGIC NET and create a dimensional envelop just BENEATH the group in time for you guys to drop RIGHT THE FUCK OUT FROM UNDER THE GIGANTIC EXPLOSION THAT OBLITERATED THE MACHINE AND DROPPED THE REMAINING COMBATANTS!!!!!!

Paranoid as ever — as soon as Trent was cut from the net he dispelled the carpet and cast another envelope for the group to travel to and canceled the previous one so you guys couldn’t be “easily” followed. From there he attempted to use a scroll of mystic portal to leave but this envelope, tied to Dyval as it was, appeared to also be governed by the same RIGID dimensional fabric as the parent dimension and the mystic portal opened to a place that only Zander was truly able to identify…another, hidden area of Dyval. As Zander stared into the abyss, so too did the abyss stare back into Zander. Nietzsche was clearly being channeled by Brent. Eventually the bullet was bitten and a dimensional portal opened to return the group to Lazlo.

Trent lost his security deposit but DID attempt to go back to Windsor for the hover-sedan and instead found the forest crawling with demons and a few of whom were playing badminton with the remains of the rental car. The group puttered around for a few before resting up and heading out to Africa into the Phoenix Empire capital, Rama — the city of doom. The Phoenix Empire is ruled by Pharaoh Rama-Set and it is a dastardly place, reminiscent of New Calgary and replete with demons and monsters and LOTS OF HUMAN SLAVES. Trent paid for his passage through the guild circle of travel and once he was there, assumed the guise of a gurgoyle with the amulets, and attempted to find a quiet place to open a portal to the rest of the group. He was deterred initially by a gallu demon bull bouncer at a nice hotel and found an imp disguised as a human baby in an alley…before settling on an uninhabited alley to work his magic. In moments he reappeared with James — the two of them assuming the guises of full gargoyles and Zander assuming…well, his normally weird costume. You guys got some static from the lion guards as you left the city and made your way to the Tree of Sorrow — an ancient, abused Tree of Life that refuses to regenerate itself in the hopes it will one day be able to commit suicide so it can no longer provide the demons of Rama corrupted millenium wands and staves. From there the ranger tracker land nav-er extraordinaire found the semi-secret lair of the giant pucara mind mage EXCEDRIN!!!!

The giant was a little full of himself but he invited you guys to dinner and fed you well and treated you as his guests. He arose from out of a gigantic cauldron — stewing with Pucaran body parts — and called his two female gargoyle minions over to “set the table.” He talked a bit about what he does and touched on the prospect of payment…especially after Zander GRACIOUSLY offered to provide him with a willing guinea pig for his latest experiment. H u z z ah ! ! ! Was Zander channeling Pall Mall?!?! Fuckin’ hilarious! At this point it became impossible to ignore the WALL OF SHAME — Excedrin elaborated on the bodies of gods that hung from his cave walls by explaining these were bodies of his FAILURES. They appeared to be dead but JAMES correctly surmised that they were, in fact, LOBOTOMIZED. Excedrin professed to the guild that he had been sought out by the desperate gods to rid themselves of these mental maladies and insanities but…there was the small chance of FAILURE. The Pucaran explained the dangers to Trent and the stage was set. After dinner Zander serenaded the group with kumbayah and some guitar playing while the nursegoyles set up the operating table and bathed and cleaned Trent. They even took the care to cut his hair. Excedrin offered Trent the “deaden pain” psionic to ease some of the trauma but Trent declined. Then he began to meditate. He went into a trance for thirteen minutes to psychically diagnose the maladies. He then went into another trance, this time after producing the ASTRAL RUNE SCALPEL, THE LOBOTOMIZER! He leaned in and spoke to Trent softly…there is but the matter of payment. Trent offered a suitable rune item and Excedrin took it on faith and didn’t press the issue. He appeared as though he didn’t much care either…but that business would conclude itself AFTER the outcome of the surgery was determined. Zander got a front-row seat by straddling two dimensions simultaneously as only a D-Shifter can do…and he laid eyes on the true astral rune blade…as it entered and subsequently sliced deeply into Trent’s BRAIN. THE TIME FOR LUCK WAS AT HAND!!!! DAVE ROLLED A SEVENTY SOMETHING AND Chris kindly referenced the table for his outcome…

MALPRACTICE!!!! temporarily lose 1d6 skills, spells, and psionics that will return in a few weeks! Holy fuckin’ russian roulette!!!! In a FITFUL BOUT OF GM COMPASSION I offered Dave a DOUBLE OR NOTHIN’ ROUND!!! Hahah!!! There’s nothin’ quite like fuckin’ yourself up even more with a chance of lightening your sentence…hehe! He took it………..AND ROLLED A 27!!!!!!! He got a partial success with one insanity PERMANENTLY REMOVED AND NO SIDE EFFECTS!!!! H u z z a h ! ! ! ! GAMBLING WITH THE DICE!!!! As the surgery was about to be over the The Lobotomizer removed from Trent’s cranium something fouled horribly wrong. Excedrin made his rolls to keep his cool but he couldn’t help but curse in spanish and spit hopping mad at his assistants. The Nursegoyles came immediately to clean up Trent and Zander saw “astral sutures” and a JAGGED SCAR on Trent’s Astral Head. When Doctor Logan finally came to Excedrin railed at him. “How could you withhold valuable information about your condition from me? You almost cost yourself your life…or your brain! The…MESS…that I found is nearly inoperable! It almost swallowed the Lobotomizer!” Trent looked on after making his save versus pain in bewilderment. He suspected he knew what Excedrin was referring to but he waited for the mind mage to say something indicative. Excedrin, ever the professional, refused to violate the doctor-patient confidentiality trust or the hippocratic oath and escorted Trent away to divulge his findings. He professed to neither seeing nor sensing anomalies in Trent’s brain until it was almost too late. He confirmed for Trent that INDEED his memories had been tampered with and that there was NO TELLING WHAT THAT WOULD MEAN IF THEY WERE RESTORED. This was all very new territory…experimental territory….but it would mean that he could potentially have a bonus to his roll the next time Trent came in for surgery.

Trent forked over Veiled Threat which Excedrin graciously accepted and promised Trent that the value of the item paid for his next TWO visits. The group then returned to Lazlo.


Ladies in Hades and the Dyval Wears Prada Witchcraft