Quite a game on Saturday! We went a comfortable ten hours and only stopped a few times for refreshment. The LOBSTER won MVP this session but the chicken parm, penne a la vodka, and stromboli picked up a little slack. We didn’t even get to try toe braciola because there just wasn’t enough time.

We had a new player join us a little early so I could prep him with regards to the system and his character, a Black Market Merchant — my first time including an O.C.C. from the new book. His name is Steve and he’s playing the character (soon to be posted to OP) named Ruger (a Dwarven Guildmaster out of the Anvil Galaxy). We got off to a late start after some appetizers, hors d’oeuvres, and bullshitting. Understandably, it’s been a solid month since we’ve gamed. But without further ado we began by ret-conning Pall Mall and Steve’s flight of the Icarus through the Russian Wilderness in a Hovercycle — through the surface-to-air missile assault of many a Warlord Installation. We kinda found out the hard way at the end of the last session that just motoring around as a flying bogie through Russia would be very difficult if you didn’t know who to bribe, when, where you’re going, and what the border-disputes and Warlord War Camp Wars looked like.

We skirted some of the politics (although I find it absolutely intriguing) in favor of more plot-driven advancement. You guys procured a vehicle through Ruger flexing his newfound Merchant Muscles and before setting off you witnessed an exchange between the Trader, Magnus VerMagnussen, and the Warlord Seriyev. He displayed some very interesting magnetic prowess on the sly and you guys asked him to tag along with his traveling gypsy caravan. The navigation isn’t free and after settling up and saddling up The Trader took you guys across nearly 150 miles of the Russian taiga without incident. He bribed your ways past Warlord Alekseyevna’s patrols and was familiar enough with the lay of the land to ensure your relative safe-passage. The new “mechanized” vehicle drew some scrutiny from the inspection / checkpoint guards and your vehicle was thoroughly swept for any signs of sabotage from a neighboring Warlord.

A few more hours outside of Alekseyevna’s Sphere of Influence you were waylaid by brigands who you later discovered were deserters from the Warlord’s mechanized conscripts. They were well-armed and fought tooth and nail — until they met overwhelming odds in the form of MAGIC. You had already subdued TEN of them outfitted as full conversion cyborgs, cyborg shocktroopers, and flying power-armor all outfitted in proprietary technology of the Warlord Alekseyevna. You cleaned house and looted all the valuable technology off the bodies and during the carnage you noticed that multiple of the cyborgs had been literally crushed bodily like sardines in a very big tin can. The Trader, it seems, has some kind of powers akin to Magnetism. He spoke English to you — fluently — and called it English, instead of American. You were led to believe that he hasn’t been here for very long and that he doesn’t remember how he got to Russia. He very clearly remembers a place called “Idaho.” Go figure.

On the road again — you traveled further still and the blizzards kept coming, back to back. Within another seven hours and a hundred miles you encountered a horse-graveyard where all manner of mythical equine specimens were strung up like trophies…or gravestones. The symbolism there was a figure of prominence in Russian History and some Russian Mythology. Catherine the Great was represented here in the Astral Plane as having placed ghostly plaques and phantasmal epitaphs by the bodies of Pegasus, Nightmare, Chiron, Hippogriff, Unicorn, Sleipnir, Uchachairahvas, Kelpies, etc. Chris also got another clue as to Orion’s involvement. You guys then had to answer a few horse-related riddles — of which you solved all but one flawlessly! CONGRATULATIONS!!!! For ten o’clock at night you guys really kept your mind’s SHARP! The last riddle was a little more difficult and Dan had the right answer but couldn’t quite put his finger on the reasoning behind it.

Posted here, for your convenience, are the question and answer:

You have 25 horses. They each run at a constant pace. You can only race 5 at a time. You want to find out who are your 3 fastest. How many races must you run?

Using letters and numbers to determine the horse and heat number we’ll depict the 5 races that everyone got in common:


Five heats, five horses, this only tells you who your three fastest are in each group of five.


We instantly eliminate the bottom 2 of every heat.

The possibility exists that none or all or some of the fastest horses are in the same “heat” with each other so there’s no more math involved — only logic.

For the 6th race we race only the WINNERS of each heat:


Now we can eliminate 4A and 5A — thereby eliminated all the horses they were ALREADY faster than in the preceding race — GOODBYE 4B,4C,4D,4E, and 5B,5C,5D,5E and we are left with:


We have 9 horses remaining. We already know that 1A is the fastest horse so we don’t need to race him anymore. That leaves 8. Horse 3A came in 3rd in the race of the leaders so we can easily eliminate his heat’s third place horse 3C. Horse 2A came in 2nd in the race of the leaders so we can easily eliminate his heat’s third place horse as well. GOODBYE 2C and 3C!!


These horses are the only ones left and we already knew that 1A was the fastest so now we must race 1B,1C,2A,2B,3A — the top 2 of those horses will join 1A and be your 3 fastest horses.

(7) Races required…CONGRATULATIONS DAN!!!

As you answered these riddles, with the preceding riddle being the culmination the body of the Unicorn had a distended, bulbous belly and magic could be sensed within. James performed animal husbandry and delivered the foal in the form of a fully grown man — covered in golden armor and angelic ichor and afterbirth and placenta and amniotic fluid. This man’s metamorphosis was visible through the headset video cams and Ruger looked on in horror as the group interrogated this man who looked like a saint or an angel who was just born, fully formed, from a dead Unicorn. Hey, that’s Christianity for ya! You got the opportunity to meet the famous Witch-Hunting Slayer, a German Warrior-Bishop named Saint Otto, his hammer, Der Hexenhammer, and the manifest / manuscript Malleus Maleficarum. Those of you looking through the dragon’s eye gems dispelled the metamorphosis for your eyes and actually beheld a divine Warhammer / sledgehammer that was fucking gigantic like a Dire Maul. The description of which will be posted in an item page but you were informed by Saint Otto that he had sacrificed himself to be implanted into the divine weapon to hunt witches, slay demons, and eradicate vile necromancers.

And that was about our stopping point. We kept the game going for a little longer to wrap up some housekeeping stuff and we probably won’t game for another solid month or more.



Ladies in Hades and the Dyval Wears Prada Witchcraft