I hope this report finds you doing well. Our joint-business venture is progressing nicely and I have you, in some small part, to thank. I will share the fruits of our collective labors with you — lest it be said that Jaena Slayne is a greedy, ethics-less entrepreneur. I think you will find your efforts well-rewarded considering the inversely proportional amount of effort you put into the product line.
After intensive scrutiny and days of dissection I eventually found trace elements of this “taint” and was able to locate, localize, and isolate the disparities. It actually appears to be an alteration in wavelength and a harmonic in scale and frequency; as if the red-headed step-child of potential psychic energy and its dirty dozen cousin were somehow knocked “off” from its normal frequency modulation. The tone is decidedly “flat” — almost imperceptibly — because the timbre and the chord structure and…well, everything has remained the same.
What I observed was startling! Similarities and parallels exist between the tainted PPE clips and the shotgun that you recently sold me. For example, you neglected to mention it, but there was something considerably flawed with the shotgun; at first glance it appeared to be an accident of design or an error in craftsmanship but now, with more insight, I can see that the use of tainted P.P.E. has warped the original intention of the schematic. The gems themselves harbor this corruption and no longer activate without “peculiarity.” I observed the exact same irregularity in the armor that your friend James dropped off. My immediate inclination was that of notifying the manufacturer and / or vendor and finding out who my competiti…finding out who made such faulty equipment.
When I delved further into both of these devices I found the unmistakable markings of the Coalition craftsmanship, part numbers, and even a hidden schematic. Is this some kind of joke? You’re an intelligent man, I give you that, but rigging this whole fanciful notion so completely — that’s devious! If this is NOT, in fact, a part of your design then there’s a whole lot more to this story that you’re not telling me.
I WILL not compete with the Coalition. Wait…I can’t believe you would lash out at me so blindly and with such hatred. What have I done to you? This is a very cruel trick, Trent Logan. I expect to see you in my office when time permits with an apology…and a massage — for all the stress your little antic…your little PRANK has caused me. Touche!
I have already taken countermeasures to verify the veracity of this equipment and a few rudimentary checks with my computer-hacking rendered-services corroborates the accuracy of the part numbers — if not the actual Serial number. The CS database doesn’t recognize the code which could mean one of two things: Trent Logan is a big fat fucking lying cheating asshole……more than likely…..or these two items are the most highly-secret classified items not even manufactured on the Chi-Town campus. What was it they used to say before the cataclysm? Laugh Out Loud. How did you come by these items really? For counterfeits they are incredible realistic. The implications of what I’ve witnessed alone are enough to rally most of North America behind the flag of the Kingdom of Magic…if not Lazlo. What is it you’re withholding from me Trent Logan? Curious, the same inscription is printed on both pieces. W. A. C. C. I. S. What does this mean in the Coalition context? Isn’t that an old NEMA slogan? You have piqued my curiosity, I’ll give you that, Doctor Logan.